The eyes and mind of sensibility.

Friends Grow on Trees. Pick Wisely.


They always say that college is the best four years of your life.  It’s where you’ll meet your life long friends and create unforgettable memories.  As we build these powerful friendships, whether in school or in life, we must always tune in to our rational thinking and assure ourselves that the friends we chose define what a friend means to us.

The educational atmosphere is a portal to a social realm where we are constantly constructing in our minds ways we can simply belong.  Essentially, by day we think with our minds, and by night we seek with our hearts.

It’s difficult to function at a university unless you attain access to some social capabilities.

For some they feel pressured and seek a quick fix by finding the first group of friends that will accept them.  The consequences speak for themselves.  Yes, you have what appears to be a friend, but you don’t have what is defined as a friend.  They’ll mistreat you once, twice, three times and more, but you’ll just keep excusing their actions, because after all, everyone makes mistakes.  Rational thought is impeded by our thirst for acceptance.

For others, they simply just let nature take its course, allowing destiny to unite them with the group they belong to.  They’ll get to know them, spend some time with them, and find the commonalities that may exist between the two of them.  You go through a process; you discover what you cherish most about that friend and if they will be that positive impact you’ll need in the future.  These people are more likely to have those friendships that are worth the time, are valuable, and will, in the end, last forever.

This might sound somewhat cliché to most of you, but what we don’t realize is that this cliché analysis blossoms into the main problem that exists within our generation… We don’t think before we act.

And it amazes me.  Why aren’t people seeking friends with good and decent qualities?  Or better yet, why do people stop searching for friends after they have nestled into a group of their own?

In one of my classes this past year we learned about how our society is living in a fast paced environment.  Everyone is reliant on technology to give us answers in the quickest way possible disrupting our independent thinking.  I feel that this is what our generation has come to.  We pick the first set of people that accept us, and we skip the entire process of getting to know someone.  You want to know how people on Facebook get thousands of friends?  There’s your answer.  They don’t care about how they met you, who you are, or what you do, they just know that they did meet you, and the easiest way to classify you as a friend is by connecting through Facebook.  Accepting a friend online gives you that quick answer that you’ve been looking for to this question: Are we friends?

We always look at the exteriors.  Just because some guy likes to drink, and that girl is a risk taker, doesn’t mean they’ll make a great friend.

This week I’ve had a lot of time to think, and consider the kinds of actions that our generation takes in this world in regards to friendships.  It’s disappointing to see that those that possess the qualities of a good friend get left behind, while the deceivers excel socially.  However, when we reach those times when our head is down, you have to lift it back up and tell yourself… They’re the ones missing out.

Having these encounters has made me a stronger person and a wiser picker out of the friend tree.

A person should have zero tolerance for anyone that disrespects them, because you know that you have worked extremely hard to be the best friend you can be.  You certainly don’t deserve that kind of treatment.  You have to have the “if you’re nice to me I’m nice to you,” attitude and it’s the time when it becomes a one-way street that you should close your lane down.  You should always stand your ground.

It is only natural to feel some form of upset, but this cannot be a long lasting effect.  A betrayer has done its job when it leaves their victims scarred.  You can’t let someone dominate you like this.  Strength must accumulate to allow you to carry on with your life and join society once again, continuing the search for your true friends.  When they see your happiness without them, they know they’ve failed.

The thoughtless acts of our generation can further be associated with boyfriend/girlfriend relationships.  Everyone is so accustomed to finding the easy bait that everyone else who is worth dating is avoided. But that’s another topic we’ll discuss at another time.

It’s an unfortunate circumstance when no one is willing to take the time and effort to do the right thing, benefiting them in the long run.  Instead they do the wrong thing, which only satisfies their needs in the short run.  What a smart move.

The point that I’m trying to make is, that we all need to take a moment in our lives and assess the relationships we have.  Are your friends treating you right?  Are you treating your friends right?  Be honest with yourself.

Some people don’t value the importance of a friendship.  What people don’t understand is that friends are the people that will be surrounding your life, they will characterize who you are, and they will be the ones you rely on for support when you need it.  Think for yourself; don’t let easy accessibility get in your way of finding good quality people in your life.  Most importantly, don’t let one person’s cruel decisions destroy you.  Things happen for a reason, and if that person was not meant to be in your life, then that means there’s a better person out there waiting to meet the best friend they’ll ever have.

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18 responses

  1. Another great post – I am really enjoying what I am reading. What you say about college life is also so true after school.
    Your wrote:
    “This week I’ve had a lot of time to think, and consider the kinds of actions that our generation takes in this world in regards to friendships. It’s disappointing to see that those that possess the qualities of a good friend get left behind, while the deceivers excel socially. However, when we reach those times when our head is down, you have to lift it back up and tell yourself… They’re the ones missing out.” – so true in the work force too – I find, all to often, that it is the deceivers that get ahead! My father always tells me not to worry – it will come back to them. He is often right!
    Thanks for sharing – very insightful and thought provoking.

    February 1, 2012 at 6:23 pm

    • Thank you so much Anita! It’s definitely an unfortunate circumstance for us decent people. My parents as well advised me the same way, karma is very much in the air. It’s also interesting to consider the fact that the good friends are more prone to being hurt by other friends than the deceivers. Why is this? Who knows anymore. People just need to realize they don’t need to transform into a deceiver in order to make friends, it will happen with time.

      🙂

      February 1, 2012 at 6:32 pm

  2. It’s been refreshing to find your blog. You remind me of myself in so many ways, and I’ve really enjoyed what I’ve read so far. I’ll be checking back for more.

    February 1, 2012 at 5:49 pm

    • I really appreciate your post Danya, thank you! I’m so glad to hear that you’ve enjoyed the post! Please do check back often! If you get a chance subscribe and share the link with your friends! Look forward to hearing more comments from you! 😀

      February 1, 2012 at 6:33 pm

  3. JSD

    I’m not in your generation and find your writing a pleasure to read. I often wonder at those FB people who have hundreds of friends…how can anyone truly be friends with that many people?
    I have found that true friendships can develop very unexpectedly or can last a lifetime even if you’ve gone years and years without contact. And the joy when they come back into your life is wonderful. It’s like you have a kindred spirit binding you together…new friend or old friend. The important thing is to be the kind of person you would want to have as a friend and don’t accept anything less from anyone else.

    October 30, 2011 at 1:01 pm

    • Thank you JSD for your kind and insightful comment! I completely agree with you and I couldn’t have said it better myself!

      October 30, 2011 at 5:55 pm

  4. You are quite a writer; I truly enjoyed your blog. Your opinions are refreshing. I especially enjoyed your opinions on friendship; I have friendships that I started as far back as elementary school, high school and college. The only thing is that I moved from LA and consequently it was harder to keep those friendships as strong. But I truly work at it and I try to be a loyal and a caring friend. Love ya, Lourdes

    July 19, 2011 at 2:19 am

    • Thank you so much Lourdes for taking the time to read my blog post as well as your kind words! The fact that you put the effort to stay in close contact with your friends long distance is truly commendable, it only shows how genuine of a friend you are! Hope you’re doing well! 😀

      July 19, 2011 at 6:02 am

  5. I love this and I love you! So much of what you write about, speaks volumes about college life and what it is to try to fit in to what is to be a college student. So much of my time at state has been me realizes what it is to have a friendship and be popular there. Drinking, what you wear, etc. Its all what people just accept unfortunately. You can only get more if you accept more from others. I think that is what people need to realize, in settling on friends or in a relationship…you will only be disappointed because will only get what you asked for…not very much

    July 16, 2011 at 7:39 pm

    • You’re absolutely right. When you limit the amount of qualities you accept in a person, it leads to complete chaos in a friendship. Most people realize what a particular friend likes in a person. At times that person meets those standards, and at other times they don’t. When they don’t that’s when they transform who they are to fit in out of desperation to expand their network of friends. It’s unfortunate, but sadly true. You’re lucky because you have the ability to not conform yourself to other people’s tastes. Most people do not possess this strength. For the people struggling they need to be aware that there are people out there who will be compatible to who they truly are.

      July 16, 2011 at 8:55 pm

  6. love your writing hun ;p . i myself have experienced most of the ‘friendships’ you spoke of from not having any friends to being with those who accepted me but didn’t accept who i was.

    i agree that many people fine ‘friends’ to be those they hang out with but seem to miss the fact that they have more of a negative effect on there lives then a positive one

    Im glad to have friends who accept me for who i am faults included and choose to see the good in me and im very happy to have you as one of those friends

    July 16, 2011 at 6:40 am

    • I’m glad you and I see eye to eye. When you have a difficult experience with a friend it can be a slap in the face, and, at times, upsetting when you realize that the friendship you thought would last forever unexpectedly ended for good. However, we can only accept what we encounter and use it as a life lesson. That’s when are minds sharpen and our choices are made in a wiser fashion. I’m glad I can be one of those friends that enjoys you for YOU!

      July 16, 2011 at 8:43 pm

  7. I honestly admire your writing. I love how you make your points very clear. It truly made me reflect on friendships I currently have. You are absolutely right. I can honestly say that you are one in a billion. Thank you for being a true and loyal friend. Love you!

    July 15, 2011 at 8:37 am

    • I really appreciate that! I try to be straightforward and realistic about the things I see and observe around my world. I’m glad that this post made an impact on you! Thank you for your kind words! The truest and greatest of friends are defined by their actions and I can certainly say that no one does more for their friends than you. I admire your passionate soul!

      July 16, 2011 at 8:26 pm

  8. nadia

    p.s. can’t wait for the boyfriend one:)

    July 15, 2011 at 8:09 am

  9. nadia

    aww that was really good:) i enjoyed it a lot!!! i’m lucky to have you as a friend:D

    July 15, 2011 at 8:08 am

    • Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed reading it! As am I lucky to have you as a friend too!

      July 16, 2011 at 8:03 pm

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